Learn to love yourself and be your own best friend
Let us talk about how you can actually learn to love yourself. It seems such a simple task, and yet most of us struggle with it.
In my experience, very few can say that they love themselves. Some, because they reject too much. Others because they feel inferior, and still others can’t even stand themselves. They are far from self-love.
But even people who do not lack affection and respect for themselves often find it difficult to say “I love myself!”
I know that because that’s how I felt too in the past
And that’s not because I secretly have a big problem with me. No, I like myself. I am at peace with myself, and I believe that I am a personable and lovable person. And, yet, I find it difficult to speak of love to me. And I can imagine that you are similar.
Love is such a big word. We make incredibly high demands on love. Claims that too often endanger our relationships because nobody can fulfill what is floating around in our minds as an ideal.
You only have to take a look at what we associate the concept of love with: The great love … True love … The only love … Love at first sight … Neverending love…Unconditional love, etc.
And should we seriously feel that for ourselves now?
No wonder the words are lying heavy on our lips.
But do we really have to be in love with ourselves to have a good and happy life? No, we don’t have to. We don’t need an intoxication of feelings. And much less do we need another inflated ideal that we can fail on a daily basis.
Be the best friend to yourself first and foremost
I am asked again and again:
How do I manage to love myself?
What tip do you have to take care of yourself?
What would you advise people who want to improve their relationship with themselves?
My answer is always the same: Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend!
This principle summons everything you need to build a healthy, stable and positive relationship with yourself, far from excessive demands and unrealistic ideals. But let’s take a closer look.
What distinguishes friendships?
You like yourself, accept yourself and forgive yourself for your mistakes.
You listen, are there for each other and treat each other in a friendly and respectful manner.
In addition, you support each other in difficult times, give comfort in grief and encourage each other!
The goal is self-acceptance
Good friends don’t like us because we are so perfect. They love us because we are just the way we are. Maybe they even like us for the fact that we are such chaotic, constantly messing up proverbs, having two left hands and being far too cheeky.
Then they like us because of our weaknesses and flaws. At least they accept it and do not judge. That’s what makes a true friend!
This is what good friends do: they like each other, accept each other and forgive themselves for their mistakes.
This is exactly what we should strive for when dealing with ourselves – to accept ourselves as we are. Even if we don’t like everything about ourselves.
Although we don’t approve of everything, and we sometimes wished we were different and would react in a completely distinct manner. To accept that we are who we are.
To see our weaknesses. Yes, but also our strengths – that is the key to inner peace and, thus, to ultimate happiness and fulfillment.
We are not just one singular being. We are the entire package. And like everyone else in the world, we have our flaws and mistakes.
Do things that we would like to improve or change. That makes us no less valuable. It doesn’t make us less lovable. On the contrary, we learn, expand, and, through these happenings, we become more lovable and powerful.
Mistakes are human. We are people. We do our best and that’s enough. You are enough!
Self-acceptance, self-care and self-compassion!
These are the ingredients to develop a positive relationship with yourself and to create a life in which you can blossom. And all it takes is a simple principle, a rule to follow: Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend!
Bestow this loving treatment that you give to other people upon yourself as a matter of course. You are just as entitled to your love as they are.
And if none of your friends have told you yet, let me be this friend for you: You are a wonderful person and you deserve to be happy!