How to train your mental resilience, gain self-confidence and optimism
Mental resilience is also referred to as toughness and adaptability. It describes the ability to cope with crises without psychological damage. If you’re lacking some inner strength at the time being, then do not feel discouraged or down. It happened to all of us until we figured the way to stay on top of things – regardless of the circumstances.
Here, let me show you how to boost your resilience, and how you can happily make lemonade whenever all that life throws you are lemons.
Surely you know these types of people: ‘Roly Polys,’ who cannot be beaten by anything. If a misfortune happens to them, they soon get up again. Psychologists call such persons resilient.
Resilience is the immune system of our soul
The term resilience originates from material science: Flexible materials that return to their original shape after exposure from outside are called resilient.
Transferred to humans, the term means even more. Who survives the adversities of life or particularly stressful times, such as terminations, separations, time pressure at work or quarrels in the family are not only resilient: These people even have the capability to grow in crises.
What is the resilience of a person?
The burdens of life for resilient people are almost like soap bubbles – they leave no lasting damage. Resilient people have certain qualities that make up their mental toughness. These were summarized in the research on six resilience factors:
1- Acceptance: Resilient people can accept what has happened to them and see problems and crises as part of life.
2- Optimism: “Everything will turn out well” – that, or a similar saying, is an optimistic idea of a resilient person. The positive perspective makes people confident and resilient.
3- Self-efficacy: Belief in one’s own abilities and competences is an important cornerstone of mental resilience. Resilient people are sure that they can manage and solve crises and problems on their own.
4- Personal Responsibility: Resilient people are willing to take responsibility for their lives instead of seeing themselves as victims of the circumstances. They try to solve any problems on their own responsibility, even if they did not cause them.
5- Network orientation: Friendships give strength in crises. Resilient people build social relationships and openly accept support and help in difficult times.
6- Solution Orientation: In every crisis, ways are usually revealed that help us emerge stronger and learn from them. Resilient people are guided by solutions and try to implement them.
The foundations for mental resilience are laid in the early childhood years and explain why certain people are more resilient than others. It is, nevertheless, possible to work actively as an adult on his mental resilience; and it is achievable!
You can train your own inner strength
Resilience is like a screen that brings us safely through the adversities of life. Resilience is like a muscle that can be trained. Based on the six resilience factors, I give you my three practical tips to strengthen your resilience.
1- Accept that living is change and confidently deal with crises
Mindfulness promotes acceptance and confidence, which are important pillars of mental resilience. Suppose that life is a vibrational up and down. Mindfulness is a way to build acceptance.
If you are careful, you can survive crises without sinking into a vortex of negative thoughts and feelings. In addition, an accepting attitude promotes a life-affirming and confident attitude and, thus, your optimism.
To strengthen your resilience, you can start meditating regularly
2- Believe in your abilities and make decisions
A success diary helps to discover your own abilities and, thus, increases resilience. Especially in difficult times, you should be aware of your strengths.
They help you to stay confident. Remember how you mastered crises in the past. Do you tend to see yourself in a rather negative light? Are you easily forgetting what you have already done and achieved?
Do not underestimate your past accomplishments. They may seem to you as if they were “nothing spectacular.” The fact is, however, that many others would think differently.
If you would tell your story to people, they’d most likely be in awe and look up to you because of your bravery. So appreciate yourself more often, please.
Start writing a success diary.
Write down every night what you have done well that day. If you run the risk of forgetting your own skills, you can read in this diary what you have already achieved. Recall your abilities in times of crisis. Then you can consciously decide what you can do to solve your problems. With that, you take responsibility for your life and become more emotionally resilient.
# 3 Finding ways to solve your problems and accept help
Sometimes the solution to the problem is to help yourself. Before you give up, think about how other people would react in such a situation. Take your time and try to find as many solutions as possible to your issue. Write down all that comes to mind.
Choose a solution and then decide to implement it.
Beyond that, do not shy away from asking friends for help in difficult times. Maybe one of them has been already in a similar situation. Trust your partner or family, and accept offered help. In very serious cases, professional help may be the right thing for you. You do not have to solve every problem alone.
Resilience does not mean resistance due to toughening up. – The sure way to enhanced resilience is regular recreation.
Some say the key to resilience is exposition to more work, endure longer, let no one notice that something is wrong and solve any problem on your own. That, however, is a fallacy! It does not make us more resilient but leads to overburdening. The road to resilience is different: recreation.
The secret is to handle your own mental resources sustainably. Less workload, less pressure to succeed, more breaks and sometimes saying “no” to an additional task when you are already overwhelmed.
Because just as muscles need recovery to grow, in order to be prepared for difficult times, it is important how we enjoy the good phases in our lives and how we keep ourselves mentally healthy.
Take your time and enjoy the beautiful moments in your life.
Whether it’s a good meal, time with your friends or a beautiful sunset. You can feed on these memories when things are not going so well. At the same time, they serve the mental recovery.
Conclusion for my starlings
Actively solving your own problems and regular recovery promotes mental resilience. Every issue and crisis in your life provides you the chance to grow and learn. Take this opportunity and solve your problems on your own responsibility. This gives you strength and self-confidence and toughens your mental resilience.
At the same time, be sustainable with yourself: Use times without crises to recover and enjoy life at its best. nd last but not least, always be your best friend, appreciate and cherish yourself – because you are worth it.
Starlings, now it’s your turn to have your say regarding this topic. Are you alright or still struggling with this issue? Let me know your story in a comment below. Perhaps, if you wish, we can talk about it a bit more.
Also, please, help to spread the word about our website. This way, others, too, can visit and have access to new valuable info, free ebooks and my personal advice and encouraging words when times are tough. So, kindly do share us with your friends and families on social media.
Meanwhile, I’m sending you all my love and healing energy, joy, harmony and an abundance of all your good desires. Remember, starlings, that you are spiritual beings, here to discover, explore, expand, have fun and fulfill a specially designed mission. You are needed and unique!
Thus, I want to thank you for your bravery, voluntary and existence. Always know that you are cherished, appreciated and immensely loved. ~ Namaste~